Congratulations on getting into the college you did not desire, unless you are an IITian of course. So, you are excited to leave the shackles of your home and explore the newer and far greater depths of the college life. And you will meet many, many people. Surprisingly, all these people can actually be categorised into 10 different categories. I’m sorry to say, your problems aren’t the only problems which persist in this world. All these people have problems of their own too. Let’s see what each of us faces during our lives in college.
Needless to say, we all have met this person even before enrolling into our current college. The majority of these guys will be wearing glasses (because of the 9.95 GPA) and will be somewhat having their roots from South and East India (sometimes they also come from the origin of the famous “Bansal-JEE” classes). Oh, yes … they love their curd. Always with a book and solving the unsolvable, they try to impress their buddies by completing the homework in the class itself. But mind you! Looks can deceive you. We will find them in the next categories.
Problems: Get taunted during class, pampered during tests (to help others with cheating, of course!) and bad-mouthed when the results come out. Yes, they will be asking your results with their report card in hand. Not to forget the ‘relationship’ question mark. Guys have trouble getting girls and vice versa. Often, they might find themselves feeling lonely.
The Dimag Wala
They are the new breeds of the new India. They are smart, dress sharp and will be present in almost all the parties. And when asked about their studies, they will utter the most clichéd phrase of all time, “Nahi bhai, abhi toh chalu karna hai.” As you would expect, they play hard, party hard and still manage to get a 9+ GPA at the end of the semester.
Problems: Get frustrated of getting called a ‘padhaku’. People seem to notice only the marks they score. Trouble in maintaining relationships with someone who doesn’t know 5 greatest Sith lords are way below their realm. Too much free time compared to others (wait, is that a problem?)
The Wannabe Kitabi Keeda
These are not your traditional nerds. They are kind of, what I would like to say, a Sheldon Cooper without a brain. They always roam around with books and always have unnecessary (and useless) tips about almost everything in life. “Dude, try making boiled eggs in the microwave.” Don’t heed to their advice. Of course, they aren’t that flourished academically as well.
Problems: Unlike the above two, these people have trouble academically. Low scores are a major factor. Like the padhaku, they are amusingly awkward and subjected to frequent bullying. Like the dimaag-wala, they get frustrated. Not because of their score, but because of their dorky attitude.
The Bade Baap Ki Aulad
Yes, people from Gurgaon, we have our eyes on you. They know how to dress extravagant and classy. Nothing less than Hugo Boss or Gucci will suffice. An iPhone 6 is a must and so is the weekend hangout with friends at the best club in the vicinity. They know a lot about the world (maybe because they have been there twice beforehand). Not to forget their exquisite taste in life. Often, they can be irritating to people who don’t belong to their stature. Mocking can be an issue for these people.
Problems: Often get asked about their father’s work or family’s business. Something like, “kitne paise hai yaar tere paas?”. Get money requests from friends and sometimes have to pay the bills for their roommates. Touch their MacBook and it’s a big issue too. Don’t worry, with a few good looks, you can score any girl you want. For guys, endless possibilities!
Track-pants? Check. Sports shoes? Check. Favourite football club jerseys? Check. Bingo! You have the khilaadi of your college. Usually found training before the class and after it. Seldom found in the class as well. They have a gist of aggression around them (and the girls love that). Who cares about the class test? There’s a big match coming up!
Problems: Attendance! Seldom coming to class does have its consequences. We all know how the GPA can be for these people. But who cares? They own the world as long as they can show off those six packs. PS: Ek ladki humaare liye bhi chhod do yaar.
Group of different people from the same place of origin. They are, what I would like to say, a herd. They move in a herd, eat in a herd, study in a herd. You would never find them alone! Usually seen in people from down there, it is difficult to figure out what is being said or inferred in groups like these (unless one understands Southern languages). Seldom, they might socialise with you, but alas! The sense of fraternity and brotherhood is strong in these people.
Problems: They miss out the real-world fun as they tend to form a community of their own, which in turn mimics that back in their home. Certainly unsure of new things and fear change. Anyway, that’s what I feel. If they enjoy among themselves, I have nothing to comment. But I highly recommend trying something new with us!
The Pardesi Babu
Apparently knows about more brands than anyone in your class. An avid Apple fanatic and you can point them out because of their accents. And I mean the accent in both English and Hindi. Usually they are skeptical of our ways, but all in good faith they are eager learners. Love to party and hang out with someone who is familiar with their ways. That someone is usually from the category 4.
Problems: The heat is intense in India, isn’t it? Don’t worry, they will get used to it. They might say some things which might hurt the political/religious/characteristic sentiments of the people. They will end up stranding themselves. Sex is still a taboo to some but not for them, which can be awkward in social gatherings.
The Phantom Of Solace
No one knows what they do or where they go. They just come to class and go - like a shadow. Usually out of the social circle of all the people, they are the ‘true lone wolves’. Nothing much is known about them, yet. I will get back to it soon after doing some research.
Problems: No support group, has the potential to be creepy sometimes and no interactions with anyone at all. This is the only information we have yet. Handling them is like catching a new pokémon in the wild. Professor Oak, here we come!
The Band Baaja Baarat
Budding musicians of the modern world. You would always find them head-banging their way to the college. Depending on their evolution, their interests vary. The basic people of this category are the LP fanatics. Linkin Park is the heart and soul to them and Chester Bennington is their hero. A more evolved species are, what I call them, the RHCP enthusiasts. Recently into the world of Indie pop culture, they are swayed by these artists. Next comes the AC/DC treatment, followed by the Lamb of God submission. The highest point of evolution leads to the worship of Dream Theatre. Needless to say, all of them own an instrument and well know how to plan one. \m/_ _\m/
Problems: Weed brings out good music, no doubt. I’m not stating weed as a problem, but a good percentage of these people are graced by its medicinal qualities. Standard issues about academics and so on still persist, but that is true for every single person on this planet. Only the problems are relative. A quick fact: the goatee doesn’t suit everyone.
A bit dazed and a bit confused, you are a bit of everything which I have written above. But that is what makes you unique! Celebrate who you are; don’t be ashamed of yourself! These are going to be the best years of your life. And if you cannot be yourself, who else will you be?
Problems: The whole world is your problem. You just need a little space and an open mind. See the creativity start flowing in you through the depths of your veins and into something concrete. A bit of this and a bit of that, you tend to get hyperactive when you tend to get the vibe off the things you like. Just remember to take a break and breathe in all the facts, one by one. Just enjoy!
College is fun indeed, but it has a meaning. A meaning which needs a far greater understanding than what we have right now. Maybe someday when we are older, wiser and have been rusted through the process of something inevitable, we will be able to fathom the greater depths of what we had done and what we should have done in the past. It’s definitely merry when the good things last long, but remember:
Winter is always coming.
Photography By: Karthik KS