It Is A Positive Thing To Talk About Terrible Things

In & Out

Terrible things


                   There was once a boy. He went to his mother and asked, “Mummy sex kya hota hai?”. Looking horrified, she said, “Papa se poochho”. The kid, confused, went to his dad. He said, “Papa sex kya hota hai?”. To his utter surprise, he got a smack right across the face. He got yelled at, with things like how a kid in the 8th grade should not be exposed to vulgarity of such sort, and how his dad was going to speak to the principal. After the dust settled, the dad finally asked him where he’d heard that word. And the boy, teary eyed, replied, “Papa my friend said he’d return my notebook in a few secs.”

This instance right there is a glaring mirror to all of our basic mentalities. Denial was what the parents started off with. As if their kid had said such a blasphemous thing that it ruined the very world their lives stood on. As if the boy had been conceived by rigorous praying to the millions of deities. As if they were more airtight than a vacuum seal. Then the reaction, a slap! As if it was the kid’s fault that he heard a new word somewhere. Weren’t we all taught since childhood, to be perceptive and all? And then the actual question! When the first thing that should have been done was to enquire about the source, Mr. Daddy goes ahead, abuses the kid for being perceptive and curious, rants about how such an unholy communion of the genitals should be abolished from the society, and then asks where the kid actually learnt it from. Oh, and let us not spare Mrs. Mommy. Most kids run to their mum at the first sign of trouble, like this one did. And instead of utilising that bond to inculcate a healthy understanding of such a topic at a basic level, she was like “Nope. Can’t do this shit. Run to papa.”

And sex isn’t even a terrible thing! Terrible things are murder, rape, burglaries, violence, riots, racism! And a generation ago, with hardly any media at all, it was easy to shield and keep kids “pure” from all these terrible things. What’s the plan now? When the cable news is mostly about sensationalism, and social media is more important than your daily ablutions, I’m guessing people are planning to live under a pond and home school the kid about how God created the world. Or maybe colonise Mars or something.


Terrible things


The early years of a child’s life right until after puberty are crucial in determining the bent of mind and grooming him/her to face the harsh realities of the world. And trying to shut the child’s eyes and pretending the world is a wonderful place just leaves one that much unprepared to deal with it, while leaving the mind a blank and easy canvas for notorious elements to paint a picture on. And that is one hell of a picture, painted on an antisocial background with just a hint of rebellion and misanthropy, and vices for paint. Not a pretty one. Thus are born those cults and junkies and radicals and whatnot. From the very cradle that their parents and the society built to protect them.

Enough about kids. They hardly know what they’re doing anyway. Let us come to us “mature adults”. The ones that think a crying man is a pussy and every irritable woman is PMSing. Rampant escapism and peer pressure are enough deterrents for most of us to bottle our thoughts and emotions up to avoid the title of “pussy” or “cranky bitch”. Rather rich though, coming from a generation that hates to be labeled and yet invented 27 different sexualities to describe themselves. Funny how we’re perfectly fine going about yelling out our opinions on marital rape and capital punishment, and yet can’t tell our parents we love someone outside of our “community”. How you can be all pro LGBT and yet be all icky holding hands with your brother (if you’re a guy) in public. How you go all “holler if you need anything!” to everybody else, and yet can’t speak to anyone about a case of depression you think you might be having because you fear being judged. A thousand kids everyday get brilliant ideas but fear saying anything to their parents, because “Get a stable job. Warna ghar pe paalna padega.”

Now I’m not some hot headed rebel trying to influence you into a life of extroversion and chaos. But think about it for a second. Are all these terrible things? Would it be so bad to take the burden off your chest? Instead of anonymous shrink sessions, maybe just help each other out? Right from childhood, have an open mind, and a clear understanding? And while we can go about saying all this, there is some kid, preparing for engineering exams, because he couldn’t tell his parents he wanted to become an artist…