Love: Friendship That Has Caught Fire

Food for Thought



I always had this dream of you and me taking a stroll on a road surrounded by dark green trees that permit just the right amount of sunlight as if the universe were blessing us, congratulating us and we, hand-in-hand are basking in this glory. I can feel your fingers intertwined with mine, fitting perfectly like two pieces of puzzles. Now that you are gone, my brain is wired with just the picture of us. I feel the pain because on this road, now I walk alone.

People used to say that they were meant for each other. Love was benediction to him and her. Yet they thought it to be a wise decision to part ways- ‘career’ sounded more important to them. Now it has been five years. She still feels empty, and so does he. Coffee still reminds them of the warm snuggle after their long walks in the rain- only that now it is devoid of warmth and recovery. They are now both married to two separate lives, but for them, time had frozen way back in the past when they had bid the last goodbye.


Being in love is the best feeling in this world. Couples who claim to be ‘madly in love’ with one another have an interesting input here. In the midst of crowd, all they can see is the face of their partners, as if all others present there fade away to the background. Their eyes go big, their mouth goes dry and cheeks go red. This is possible when two people are deeply connected to each other.

However, why is that this heavenly feeling turns to a hot ball of pain and anger in a matter of seconds when left alone by our partners?

Since the beginning of mankind, man as a gatherer provided security with food and protection while his better half brought warmth and comfort. When in a situation where the couples were separated, they lost the feeling of being protected and that gave rise to anxiety because of feeling vulnerable and lonely.

Other than the exchanges of warmth and security, there’s another most important thing. The foundation of every relationship - trust and faith. Promises were made based on which beautiful futures were planned. When the partner leaves or something bad happens, that future doesn’t exist anymore and the world around seems barren.

Helen Fisher, a researcher of brain activities in love, suggests that a chemical named dopamine is released when one is in love. It is associated to excitement and other pleasurable activities. It’s also released when taking a hit of cocaine. So, in the scenario of break up when the partner isn’t around, it is equivalent to getting yourself away from a drug addiction.

The quest for the truest form of beauty never really had been a success. Starting from the days of King Arthur, down to Keats and philosophers of all the ages, beauty in its truest form seemed unreachable. A mother suckling its baby, or a full grown daffodil soothes our vision, giving birth to a beauty that is divine and picturesque. Attaining beauty in its truest divinity needs worship. Life is a cycle, which definitely is unpredictable; happiness and beauty does not last long. However, the black shadow doesn’t linger for long, does it?

We do see a new sun every day, the flowers at the end of autumn start to droop and their petals fly along the pavements and roads in winter. Does it necessarily mean that these flowers, with its hues and aroma, won’t bloom back? Nature really never faces its end every winter. The flowers once again bloom back, with the same vibrant colours and smell with the arrival of spring - the harbinger of life. Beauty that is gone can never be earned back, but it can be welcomed to our lives in different forms - like the seasons of nature. Silver hair and wrinkled cheeks defines a beauty that stood strong against the obstacles of life and now portrays ‘experienced beauty’.

Similarly, the meaning of life changes for us when we lose our near and dear ones. Life becomes an empty casket. Life is all about a beautiful journey of all young people who start treading on this complex road, alone and unaware of their companions. During the course, they make and lose friends, fall in love and achieve their dreams. Few fail in this journey, but finally everyone who had undertaken this journey once again merges together at the end of the road.

The journey of life without love, makes hell out of the heaven. Life, too, presents us with occasions where we may lose hope and the desire to live. Everyone is present in our lives for a definite and a calculated episode - not long not less. Everyone fulfils their purpose and leaves when the work is done.

Like the seasons of nature, beauty never fades away from life completely. Winter signals the arrival of spring. The hardships in life signal the arrival of the new and the nostalgia: dictating the birth of a new fortune, the promise of a beautiful life.

Photography By: Kanika Narang