Judgemental Assholes

In & Out




Dated: 23/01/2015

Dear (Self-appointed) Hon’ble Judge(s) of our society,

I am truly honoured to have been given a chance to write an extremely pending letter to you. First of all, I would like to begin by thanking you for passing comments about me, my life, and my dress sense – whatever you’ve spoken about – and this is completely justified, because you are clearly a better judge of my life, rather than me. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have known that my unruly hair meant that I was “unhygienic”, or that my short dresses implied that I was sleeping around. I wouldn’t have known that if a guy hung out with many girls, he became a stud; and if a girl hung out with many guys, she became a slut.

I’m sorry if I ever fell short of your standards of what is “good” and “bad” (although this is a very blurry concept; I would kindly request you to enlighten me about the society’s rulebook of what is “good” and “bad”, so that I can try and understand the warped sense used to arrive at a particular judgment about me.)

Thank you for letting me know that just because I am prettier/better than you (or vice-versa), I am to become a victim of malicious rumours and “judgments” passed by you and your (and my) peers. I would also like to apologise for not conforming to your ideals of “good looks”; here I was, thinking that the only important thing was to be a good human being.

Thank you for shunning me out of your social circles just because I love studying, or doing anything that is unfit for your “approval”. It is good to know that I should tread on eggshells around you (instead of being a free individual), due to how aggressive (and vindictive) it makes you, if my opinions differ from yours.



I didn’t know that being an introvert (or a socially-awkward person) meant the inevitable hurl of adjectives (like ‘snob’, ‘arrogant’ etc.) at me.

Without you, I wouldn’t have known that “mera kucch nahi hoga”, just because I never got good marks. After all, being an ass and a topper is much better than being a good person, who is a low-scorer. Thank you for making me realise that my passion for mathematics and general knowledge should be way more than my passion for a particular field, so as to get a seat in the relevant institutions.

I am sorry for letting you down when I told you that I didn’t want to become a doctor/engineer. I didn’t mean to upset you, even though it’s about my life and future career. I’m sorry.

Also, I shouldn’t have bought those pair(s) of Crocs. I didn’t know that they would disturb you to such an extent that you would term me as a “loser”.

I might as well take this opportunity to apologise for (-or not-) drinking or smoking. I didn’t know that doing so meant that I was a goner and not doing it meant that I was a bore; even though this choice of mine has no relevance in your life at all. Forgive me.

Thank you for those glaring looks when I was walking with my friend (of the opposite sex), and for terming us under the “aaj kal ke bacche” spectrum, even though we were just being like any other pair of ….normal friends.

Thank you for making me better prepared for the future, by saying that I wouldn’t get married because I wasn’t fair, or that I should just get married and sit at home, because I am a girl.

I am grateful to you for making me realise that I shouldn’t cry when I’m upset (just because I am a guy), just for the fear of being termed “pansy” or “lame”.

Thank you for judging me on the basis of my sexual orientation, because it ends up having such a direct effect on your life! Hence, I understand.

I would also like to point out my realisation of the utter irrelevance of the following phrases:

“Live, and let live.”

“To his each own.”

“Let others be.”

“Mind your own business.”

Some of my friends tell me that it is an instinctive element of human beings to form opinions about everything, and hence, everyone. Is that why you make it a point to make this known to me (and create a physical and emotional barrier between us, for no fault of mine), instead of just keeping it to yourself? A good plan, I must say, because how much ever a person denies the effect of others on his/her life, it DOES affect him/her, maybe subconsciously too. It’s a perfect way to target someone’s self esteem and self-image. It gives you a heady feeling of power, doesn’t it? Perhaps I am your firing table for perceived deficiency.

It is a wonderful thing to know that “I” am one of the several other subjects who form the fodder for your gossip groups.

Despite knowing about my life or my story, you draw conclusions, which is a very commendable thing. I didn’t know this feat was possible, just on the basis of an amalgamation of assumptions.

I think what I’m trying to say is, I am really very grateful to you, for showing how my life, my decisions and my opinions about varied topics affect your life to such an extent that they make you want to pass your honourable judgments about me. It makes me feel great and sad at the same time. 

Thank you, my honourable judges, for condemning me to your societal jail. I am sure I will get to learn a lot here. I hope that when I am freed, I will be able to live up to your “standards”.

Yours sincerely,

– A (sort of) Hypocrite

(Because I judge you for judging me).

* [Here, ‘you’ and ‘me’ are general terms, they aren’t specific to “me” or “you”, per say.] *