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Pickup lines


During the day:

“Hi. How you doing?”

“Excuse me? I don’t even know you.”

“Yeah, but what are you doing here?”

“What the hell man?”

“No, because I was under the assumption that angels were only in Heaven!”

*….. (Tight lipped smile)…. (Brisk-walks away)*

Later at night:

“Hahaha, what? That guy actually said that?”

“Yes! And you know me. Being the socially-awkward person that I am, I just…ran away as soon as I could.”

“Was he cute?”

“ Maybe. I don’t know. “

“Hahaha, I cannot get over this! I need to tell this to everyone!”

“Haha, well.. (chatter chatter)”

And it goes on.

Hi there. Yes, that is pretty much what happens. So the next time you’re planning to hit on someone by using a pick-up line, remember that the forthcoming scene will be played and replayed in the form of hilarious narrations to everyone known to him/her.

I have seen people who know that the event may lead to some embarrassing scenes for them, but they go ahead with it anyway. Is it a self-destruction mode, or a stupid one?

There must surely be a reason for this phenomenon, because thousands of people (literally) sit and google for “Best pick up lines”, or “How to be appropriately cheesy” (Yes… that one too.)

Also, the vast collection of these lines is laudable! So much so that they should be genre-based, don’t you think?

For example, there are the foodies, because, hey! It is every girl’s dream to be compared to Tangri Kebab or Butter Chicken. As an example, once my gang of girls was having lunch at McDonald’s and this guy walked up and said -“I’ll be the burger king and you be my McDonald’s. I’ll have it my way, and you will be lovin’ it.”

Then come the geeks, who use every combination possible from the Periodic Table, to come up with Copper and Tellurium [CuTe] ones like “Let’s make uranium iodide and put U and I together”. That sounds like an interesting chemistry.

Then come the astronomical ones, who are constantly comparing their beloved to stars, planets, and moons and even …. Haley’s Comet (the rarity of its appearance, apparently). ”You are not from space are you? For, you seem out of this world.”

There are some who come up with lines like, “Hey, I lost my Teddy Bear.. could I sleep with you?”

What, are you in kindergarten? Pssht.

And then comes the height of desperation - “Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?”

Then, there ARE some people who come up with such genius ones, that you start to think that, “Hey, he might actually be intelligent…”

I have a friend who is constantly coming up with whacky ones (borderline dirty), and some of them are so good, that I tell him to compile a book with all his “pickup” entries. I don’t know if he will, but I do know that if he does decide to do it, it will have a good readership base. Heck, his book might even pick up the Pulitzer Prize!

I must say that those who go forward with these plans of theirs, they might be awarded by funny or angry faces, but they certainly manage to pick up awards for their courage. It is a bold move, indeed. You need to be really confident to go up to someone and strike a conversation by saying something incredibly stupid like “Hi, I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together”.

Pick up lines have been a rather entertaining part of the society for quite some time now, as they are seen as means of ‘breaking the ice’ (and future narrations). Jokes apart, hats-off to the people who indulge in this. It’s not an easy task to do and requires a lot of guts, unless he/she is a seasoned sport. That is some next level of courage and … “apne hi pair pe kulhadi maarna” scenes. Well, what’s life without some risk(s), right?

There are people who actually break into conversations after the person has picked up the right vibes from the dialogue, and some of them often end up dating or becoming good friends. My best friend once said to me, “Hey. Are you Kobe’s female version, because damn, you sure know how to handle the game. Would you like to show me how you do the same? A date after that?"


Pickup lines


Yes, very stupid. BUT – He used keywords like Basketball, Kobe (OH MY GOD!!) which made me laugh for quite some time. That certainly broke the ice, . So much so that now he is an integral part of my life and I am grateful that he decided to try to “pick” this socially awkward person as his target on his pickup radar.

Apart from that, I think the fact that these lines are so stupid, is what makes them so …adorable (but only sometimes, okay?). Some of them can be really creepy, thanks to the safety hazards of almost every place now, so people have to be on their guard.

Next time someone refuses you, don’t take it personally. They’ll have their rightful reasons. You, on the other hand, don’t give up (it’s okay if you do, actually); when the time is right, the correct piece of ice shall break and melt into wonderful conversations. 

The bottom-line:

All in all, some are creepy and weird, some are cute and sweet, some are funny and intelligent, some are …. hey, did I just end up describing some people’s attributes too? Getting the picture now? Well, the girls (in question) certainly do….. yes, even though they aren’t all photographers.Sigh.

For the boys, I just ended up adding to your arsenal. Right?

And a word of caution for girls - do get a driving license, for this pick up truck might drive you crazy at times.

Now it’s your turn. Add something to my stock as well. And feel free to pick up.