If I Stay




I stayed.

Never did I change or give up on you for I knew that you would come; yet you never came. Lost in the darkness I wandered searching for your lightI saw you, I called you and I begged you. But you never stopped for me; for someone else you did. I felt betrayed, dejected, rejected from you and this world for I had followed your light in the darkness. You gave me hope but never once did you say that we were never meant to be together.

Some things come in life and some things aren’t meant to be yours.

I understood, you did not. You left, I did not.

It really was time to move on. Life is too short to feel crestfallen about insignificant things. All I needed was a ‘Yes’ and trust me at that moment, even a minor response would have seemed like an ocean of hope. It broke my heart, even more so that you remained silent.

A friend tried to help, but I wanted to turn my back against the world. I didn’t want to be a burden either. I politely refused for my sorrow is my own. It makes me who I am, it defines me.

“Don’t you worry child, see heaven’s got a plan for you.”

My only companion since the middle ages, my songs gave a spark in my heart. It ignited my long forgotten will to move on. Hope is a powerful thing and if you know how to use it you can do the undoable.

I did.

“Never mind I’ll find someone like you”


Auto rickshaw


It’s been a while since you left and now I see another you. An impeccable resemblance, truly, but why do I always fall for the same? Maybe it is indeed my fault. I should have stopped my fall, but it felt so good to fall, again. Like I fell for you the last time; O the last time … how much I cherish those moments.

I am an avid reader of history books and a pundit of Jurassic Park. And the one sole thing I know about them (if not all) is that history always, ALWAYS, repeats itself.

It repeated, a quick misunderstanding and I’m left stranded on my road to solitude once again.

“I walk a lonely road the only one that I’ve ever known”

I’ll walk this road without you. I decided, for I can’t take this any longer. Really, it’s just a way to get my mind distracted from all the epiphanies I’m receiving at once. Negative epiphanies to be precise. Can’t life be a dream?

“Life could be dream, sh-boom if I could take you to the paradise up above.”

No, I’m not a hopeless romantic of such an intensity. But life is indeed a dream, one that is fuelled by epiphanies. And my dream keeps me awake searching for you. I found you.

This time you waited and I came to you. It had been a long wait. A very long one. I called you, out loud and this time you turned back. I spoke:

“Auto! M.G. road chaloge?”

“Haan chalega na anna…”

Photography By: Shayan Iqbal